拜讀中時部落格犬馬張貼的徐國能圍棋一文後，龜毛的個性又發作。
以前應昌期先生這麼說（大意如此啦）：『圍棋規則其實兩條而已。一曰：一人一手，同形禁著。二曰：氣盡提取，子空皆地。』
徐文先說圍棋只有一條規則，後來提到打劫時又說還有一條規則。那麼圍棋到底有幾條規則呢？參照應昌期的說法，就知道徐文歸納的一條規則絕對不夠。而應先生的第一條規則更是非常重要。圍棋棋盤的大小、棋子顏色倒都不是重點。棋盤有9乘9的，13乘13的，不是正式比賽，沒人說一定要19乘19。黑子白子也不過是習慣如此，真要換成藍子綠子，頂多瞧了煩、噁心，也不礙下棋的事。
應昌期先生的第一條規則裏，『一人一手』，很清楚。輪流下子，公平。不然，你一個人可以連走兩手，不但不公平，兩氣活棋也被推翻。人間盡多不平事，理想反在戲耍中。誰說戲無益？
而『同形禁著』是什麼碗糕？假設有個和CDL雜耍團團員大呆一樣無聊的男子，人家下棋，他堅持拿著數位相機，兩個對弈的傢伙每下一子，他就把整個棋盤照下來。兩個人局終下了300手，就得有300張照片。這300張照片，拿來一一比對，不許有任何兩張是一樣的。這就叫『同形禁著』。
幹嘛要這樣？我們假設下棋的是大呆和大牛。兩個人一樣的牛脾氣。如果沒這一條，『打劫』時（不是一般政客、富豪、大哥所熟悉的那個打劫啦），你提我一子（照片一），我下一手立即提回來（照片二），你瞪大牛眼，又給提回來（照片三）。照片一和照片三完全相同，你來我往，儘在來回提那一子。那就海枯石爛天荒地老沒完沒了了。
當然，文字嘛，不是論文，不用計較這些小地方。誰像你卜向化那麼無聊老要吹毛求疵的呢？就像以前，忘記是誰，引用某名詩人翻譯某阿拉伯詩人的詩。可那詩就翻譯了合那名詩人目的的一段，剩下的就有意無意掃入黑洞。參考其他語言的翻譯，又可以看見名詩人翻譯時為達成某種目的而斧鑿的痕跡。反正，大概也沒人會去查證，何必過分努力呢。龜毛如我，只得輕嘆一聲：『希望我神經大條點呀，這種東西多到不可勝數呀，大家看了高興就好嘛。還是去再讀校園迷糊大王漫畫吧。』
說到這裏，突然想起我覺得很有趣的一部電影裏的對白。電影是My Cousin Vinny。
被誤以為殺人而在南方受審的紐約意大利青年Bill Gambini，雇用他非正規律師的堂兄Vinny辯護。檢方所有證人的供詞都對Bill不利。Vinny不熟法庭程序，惹得法官不高興，被法官用藐視法庭的罪名拘留了幾次。這是一段兩人關於這件看似沒救的案子間的對話。我就不翻譯了。不過這段對話，基本上觸及我讀人文字時一個根深蒂固的龜毛毛病。什麼毛病，請讀者自己參詳。我覺得我大概受西方蠻人的影響太深，才是真的沒救。
Vinny Gambini: Look, maybe I could have handled the preliminary a little better, okay? I admit it. But what's most important is winning the case. I could do it. I really could. Let me tell you how, okay? The D.A.'s got to build a case. Building a case is like building a house. Each piece of evidence is just another building block. He wants to make a brick bunker of a building. He wants to use serious, solid-looking bricks, like, like these, right?
[puts his hand on the wall]
Bill: Right.
Vinny Gambini: Let me show you something.
[he holds up a playing card, with the face toward Billy]
Vinny Gambini: He's going to show you the bricks. He'll show you they got straight sides. He'll show you how they got the right shape. He'll show them to you in a very special way, so that they appear to have everything a brick should have. But there's one thing he's not gonna show you.
[turns the card, so that its edge is toward Billy]
Vinny Gambini: When you look at the bricks from the right angle, they're as thin as this playing card. His whole case is an illusion, a magic trick. It has to be an illusion, 'cause you're innocent. Nobody - I mean nobody - pulls the wool over the eyes of a Gambini, especially this one. Give me a chance, one chance. Let me question the first witness. If after that point, you don't think that I'm the best man for the job, fire me then and there. I'll leave quietly, no grudges. All I ask is for that one chance. I think you should give it to me.
不像話龜毛俗物卜向化今天缺鈣想起以前泡茶下棋之酸甜苦辣特記3/19/2009